The most obvious revision that I made to my Arrested Development review was the shortening of the episode summaries. Kristen, Robert, and Aubree all suggested that I condense the episode summaries to further engage the audience. I think the long summaries, especially the unnecessary details, tell the reader too much.
Karissa suggested that I clear up the paragraph where I discuss the minute-long "on next week's..." segment at the end of the two episodes. I made the concept more understandable and shortened the paragraph to clear up any confusion.
I made a few nit-picky errors in my original post, such as having "spoon-fed" twice in the same paragraph like Noelle pointed out, so I changed those. I took out some commas because I always go comma overboard. Also, I rearranged some sentences to make them more clear.
Otherwise, the general consensus seemed to be that my original post was not too shabby so I didn't need to start from scratch, which was a relief.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment