Biggest Mouth Review

Biggest Mouth? More like Biggest Disaster.

Big Mouth at Columbia College Chicago is a monthly open-mic event series, often including spoken word, poetry, and performance artists. Biggest Mouth, held on Thursday, April 16, 2009, was the conclusion of the series where performers went head-to-head in a competition to win $1,000, many hours of studio time, and and a chance to play at Metro Chicago to compete in the Biggest Mouth Campus Clash, Columbia College Chicago vs. Depaul.

The event, thrown by the Student Programming Board and held at 1104 S. Wabash in the Conaway Center, started at 7pm. I arrived at the event at 8:30pm. Upon arrival, my friend was let in but I was stopped as they were over capacity. Minutes later, I was still waiting for entry while the two bouncers asked every single person if they were leaving for good. Meanwhile, other students were walking right in while the student workers were still holding me up. Obviously, there was some behind-the-scenes miscommunication and confusion, if not direct hatred for me.

From this point forward, it became apparent that Biggest Mouth was a poorly planned and, even more, improperly executed event. When I entered the main room, there was nobody on the stage except for students scrambling to fix microphones, set-up for the next performer, and keep the crowd entertained. From the time I arrived at 8:30 until 9:15, not one act appeared.

I found a few of my friends in the largely African-American audience and we walked over to the root-beer kegs. There was also a table set up for root-beer beer-pong. Cute, but nobody was playing. There were numerous display tables set up for advertising who-knows-what, but the people working the event seemed friendly enough.

More time passed, and still nobody took the stage. The Student Programming Board was pushing Red Bulls (one of the event's sponsors) onto the audience, trying to keep them pleased and energetic. Eventually, music started playing, albeit not live music, but some music nonetheless. And, of course, the first song happened to be the "Superman That Ho" song. Oh, dear, this was going to be a long night indeed. I almost lost it when a group of students started doing the dance, including one pregnant chick. Really, really pregnant, like about-to-pop pregnant. My friends and I couldn't control ourselves. That in itself made the night a winner.

The show never came together. One band performed without microphones; apparently, they had all been blown. A little strange, I thought. Even more upsetting was that thirty minutes later, they decided to come back on and sing the same terrible track again, now that one microphone was working. They asked the judges: "Would it be alright if we tried that again?" The judges' looks were priceless. Low in their seats, resting on their hands, half-asleep, they all nodded. I only hope they were being paid.

A couple bands were able to play despite major difficulties before, during, and after their performances, including one woman (Angele Anise) who was just fantastic. You could barely hear her, much less see her with the terrible arrangement of chairs in front of floor-to-ceiling beams, but what I caught was worthwhile. She performed a beautiful, soulful rendition of the Foo Fighters' "My Hero".

After her set, there was another half-hour of complications, per usual. I visited with some friends, all of whom were commenting on what a waste of time the event was. A crowd of unfriendly hotties tried to start a dance party without music, and a pair of out-of-touch comedians took the stage to get the crowd going. Unfortunately, what we heard wasn't very funny, more just awkward, and the microphones blew again. Too bad.

Another act I caught was called 305, comprised of three men who tap-danced and sang off-tune about a pretty girl. Terrible.

At 10:30, a half-hour earlier than planned, Biggest Mouth ended. I don't even know who won the competition. I asked numerous concert-goers. I asked the Student Programming Board, even Ayisha, the president of the club. Nobody knew. One young man told me "Matt and Tony" won, but there was no "Matt and Tony" on the schedule. Strange, and strangely hilarious.

All in all, a disastrous night was had by all. The three judges, all of whom appeared to be Columbia College Chicago students, looked more than displeased and severely bored with the night. For good reason, too: there was little energy and an overabundance of technical difficulties. It didn't help that the rude, unnecessarily aggressive security guards were pushing--literally, pushing--the audience out the doors, letting us know that "the event is now over." "Thank God" was all I could think.

Performers at Biggest Mouth included: Chozen Generation, Claire Stahlecker, Angele Anise, Demi Lobo, Marcas Harris, David Anthony, Matthew Gaydos, Andrew Hart, Erik Duemig, Joseph Duemig, and Stephen Mortensen, Thurston Magill, Daniel Schein, Lee Howard, Jonathan McReynolds, and Nico Rubio, B.I.G.H.E.A.D., Mechele Burtley, and Lyrically Sick.